SINGLE REASONING

written by Dani E.

 

A drink magically appears before you at the end of your meal. You are seated at the bar (you came in alone). You are planning to get the check as soon as the bartender is free. 

The drink, courtesy the man two seats away, with an empty seat between you. His friend on his opposite side. 

In and of itself,  a sweet gesture. Someone paying attention, showing attraction. However, this gets tricky if someone is relying on expectations. I had to continue with your day- so a  polite "thank you" accompanied with "I'm afraid I can't join you; I was just about to pay my bill," should have sufficed. 

Ladies: I ask you - does this usually suffice? Normally they at least try to convince you to stay for just one or a few more minutes or have last words to say to you somehow.

Maybe they are well meaning, trying to do something "nice". But as a stranger, what makes them believe being turned down is a cue to turn against the woman? Who taught this behavior?

 

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After I kindly turned down the drink from this stranger, he accused me of not letting anyone do anything nice for me. I then looked down and saw a ring on his finger. "Is that a ring on your finger?," I asked him. " Is that your wedding band?" 

He replied, "Yes."

"So why are you trying to buy a woman you've never met a drink?," I ask.

He then proclaims loudly to me and his friend that he wants nothing to do with me. 

Okay. 

He then tells me there is a 'reason' why I am single.

I say, "Sir, you know nothing about me, and you are married, so I am of no concern to you." 

He sits there fuming. His friend leans over him to try to continue asking me "where I am from," "what brings me to NY," - the typical. Was the married guy being a jerk so his friend could swoop in as a hero??

These types of manipulative scenarios happen constantly. Men whistling crude things at women on the street. When we don't respond to the male's liking, they turn on us, yelling profanities and calling us disgusting things. 

Gee. What a way to treat a lady. 

Guess there IS a reason why I am single, Fella. I refuse to settle for the likes of you. 

 

Keeping perspective,

Dani E.